There goes the neighborhood
No... You're not the only one
I saw this meme today and I died.
Okay I’ve had some insane neighbors in my life time.
In Chico I had “Obvious Drug Dealer Dude,” who may or may not have blown up my landlord’s car. Seriously he had people going in and out of a window to buy drugs. Like unless Obvious Drug Dealer Dude was also running a prostitution ring, there was absolutely no reason for people to be entering his house from the window.
There was also “Bad Reggae Band Dude,” and “Screaming Bad Dog Mom,” who lived downstairs from me. His band sucked violently but his girlfriend and the dog were even worse. The dog barked all hours of the day and the girlfriend screamed at me constantly because I had to get up at 5am every day. Well girlfriend lady person, your boyfriend’s band didn’t need to be practicing at 3am when I have to get up at 5am to go to work. Sorry my alarm clock or hair dryer woke you up. Also walk your fucking dog.
Back in my Grover Beach days though my old roommate and I had a cavalcade of insane neighbors. There were “The Lesbian Truck Drivers,” who had violent screaming matches, cat called me every time I walked to the laundry room and other neighbors called the cops on them constantly.
We also had “Naked Cat Lady,” this nice, semi blind lady who had to live next door to the “Lesbian Truck Drivers.” She built herself a shelter next to the pool at this apartment complex where she sunbathed naked like daily. She was the only person in the complex allowed to have cats and she tore her window screen off and her cats walked in and out of the window all day.
Directly across from me was “This Cost Me 10 cents dude!” This was a neighbor that moved in one day and I met him on Halloween while I was handing out candy. We exchanged phone numbers, because hey neighbors right? Yah no. He had the same name as another friend of mine in my phone. Matt is a pretty common name and this was back in the T-9 days, so one night my roommate and I were going out for her birthday and I guess I texted this crazy person on accident trying to rally some troops to hang out for her birthday. He called me back screaming at me that he didn’t have a text plan and how I had cost him ten cents. LOL.
I’m pretty sure our neighbors call me and Dan the “Neighbors Who Are Never Home,” or “The Girl Who Gets Her Mail In Her PJ’s” or “The Weird Chicken Lady.”
My Grover Beach neighbors on either side of my apartment called me “That Poor Girl Who Gets Locked Out of Her House All The Time,” and “The Girl With The Loud Roommate Who Screams All The Time.”
We all have our nicknames… What do you think yours are?