When I was 13 years old Ryan was the reason I'd picked up a guitar, I thought he looked COOL AS FUCK, so I wanted to do it too. This then led to an obsession with Metallica, so I played them exclusively (which is how I actually learnt how to play, because all the tab sites in the year 2000 were completely wrong LOL Unlike Metallica, who actually had correctly annotated tab books). But, like you, I also found out about Deadsy after first listening to ORGY
"Its a like a Deadsy song/pretty but something's always wrong/show me your secret mason sign" This was hard to get when it first came out, but it's all over the internet today. I remember me and a few people were passing it around, we thought we were so cool because we had a rare "The Deleted Version" lol
30STM's first cd was actually pretty good, I think. When they were still part of The "SynthRock" genre. It was after that cd they went full emo on everyone. They sold records. There's that. But goddamn did they sell out. Someone told me before Jared started the band he was asking all the members of Deadsy about the equipment they used, and he bought all the same stuff. (someone described what they did as a "carbon copy" Deadsy) I told myself, if I ever see Jared at a department store I'm going to point to the ceiling, to the music, whatever is on, and sing out loud, "it's like a Deadsy song, pretty but..." and if he acts weird about it, I will scream out loud, "WHY ARE YOU HERE? ARE YOU LISTENING?! CAN YOU HEAR WHAT I AM SAYING?!"
Imitation is flattery, they say. Whatever happened there, I just think the first 30STM album was fine. I was on their message board too before they blew up, and people said this guy "L." was actually Leto, he told me not to join cults because he had looked into a group briefly and they followed him around for a while. Long story short, it was because of Deadsy I developed an obsession with esoteric subject matter, and yes, found some cults out there for sure.
But anyway, Amir has a cool youtube channel. I think he just uses it to sell equipment, but he does some cool audio experiments on there that an appreciator of experimental music can dig.
It wasn't Josh's fault the band didn't blow up. To be quite fair, I think it was the band's fault for not continuing to make music... despite the downturn. You've probably heard of Jinjer, who went super viral and considered one of the greatest acts in metal currently. This is a band that grinded for nearly A DECADE, doing not just a few local shows, or a single national tour, but numerous WORLD TOURS during those ten years. It took them literally TEN YEARS, despite being At The Top Of Their Game and literally World Class before they even got recognition worthy of their talent. Then you got people like Ethel Cain who just fucking blow up, all the sudden, because THAT ONE person finds their shit who happens to be an established artist already, who plugs them into a distributor and pushes them, hooks them up with good management.
The music industry is no doubt, the most difficult business to make it in. I work as a local truck driver, and I make as much money as some world famous musicians who tour the world and aren't home every day. They're somewhere around the world, or in some other city. And that might be a dream come true for some, but for me, I'm a studio musician. So being able to be home is much better for me. But yeah... unless you seriously blow up, there's like no money in this shit, unless you're indie, own your own masters, do a lot of shit yourself, do tours, make money from your own merch, and have a good booking agent who can get you on loudwire, on pitchforktv, get you a VICE interview, etc. etc. every time your new cd is about to drop.
I think DEADSY should've just continued to release albums, true to their sound. (not sell out like 30STM) Just incrementally release something over a period of every 2 to 3 years. That's how they would've not only retained, but CONTINUED TO GROW a fanbase. So that future releases, future shows (should they have toured) would've been increasingly successful.
The saddest thing to me about Deadsy, and hopefully I can say this as confidentially as one could in a public place such as this, is what appears to be the wasted potential. Other folks in the band went off and did other shit, cool. But had they of just continued to release shit... they'd of been doing FINE today. They'd have a booming, beaming fan base.
They can still get it back, but goddamn. Had they of just kept releasing records... just one every two or three years.
You've seen "Celtic Pride"? I thought it'd probably be a good idea to kidnap them and force them to live in a shack and not release them from there until they've released TEN quality albums. I told myself if I ever become dictator of the world... this is what I will do.
But you know what also makes life valuable? Is the idea that it doesn't last forever, either. So the time that we do have, the things that we do have, it's all rare, and precious. It has a real value, and it should be cherished. Because it doesn't last forever, is exactly what makes this all so precious and meaningful.
I think about that a lot, in general, and specifically in relation to the Deadsy and ORGY cds we got that were actually good.
For good or for ill, life moves on. Because all life is, is Constant Change and is thus, Constantly Changing. Because all we are, and all everything is, is atoms moving through space and time. From one side of Infinity to The Other. And if the world seems small at times, despite how large it is, it's because we're all connected, somehow, to IT ALL. And that's beautiful, every form that it takes along the way. Every new discovery, every experience that literally Defines us along The Way.
Be me for a second, Okay? I'm over here listening the fuck out for Xasthur and DARKHER for years. Then I see on the video description for a Darkher video about a Rayshele. I go "no way..." And it is literally Lunarclick* Rayshele who is behind some of my favorite fucking bands, wtf?! lol
the world is seriously super small, and we are all literally the same being breathing the same air throughout the infinite, we all just can't see it because of our egos and the limitations of our physical senses telling us "otherwise", and this is also what freaked Einstein out the most, this idea of "Quantum Entanglement". But once you get used to the idea that we're all the same being, the Swami Vivekenanda shit, and all the Yogi shit in general becomes a lot more palatable; not just from an abstract or philosophical touch, but it becomes a more integrated reality. One's universe becomes a living, breathing situation.
And the more I think about it. To me at least, Deadsy wasn't just about music. They were about ideas that provoked me to learn more about metaphysics, mainly. I have to ask: how much more could I have honestly gotten out of Deadsy?
I couldn't have gotten more if I tried, or even if they'd released 20 cds. So I'm good. Me personally, I'm doing Fine! But I do worry about Elijah Blue. I hope he's happy. I hope he's surrounding himself with people who love him. I hope he's happy and fulfilled in this life and all the next ones. I didn't know that he didn't really have a father and I didn't either, so when I was like 14 he was like 25 and I literally looked up to him. As silly as it might sound, I'm serious. And for just talking online, and not saying nearly anything in person, he was one of the most important people I've ever met in my life due to how present his influence was in tuning me into concepts that'd eventually change and enrich my entire freaking life. So if not another single Deadsy cd ever comes out, I just hope he's happy, that he's okay. That's he lives a long, long time, and that he'll always be okay and do alright.
Rossco! What the fuck? where have you been? You cross my mind from time to time. I remember when you called me at work and requested songs. Your enthusiasm for Deadsy and other bands is unmatched and always made you stick in my brain. <3 you dude.
Love is a strong word, but I unreservedly and unhesitatingly have to throw it right back atcha. I feel like I've known you my entire life! lol
I've just been doing the single-father shuffle. I got a trucking job in Portland Oregon that let's me be home every night (no out of town travel whatsoever), so I can pick my 5 year old son up from school and be in his life everyday. (That's very important to me) :)
I just make music for fun, because I'm passionate about it. I don't charge anything for my originals, I just let people download my albums and EP's for free if they want. What's great about separating music from money, I feel, is that I don't ever have to compromise or negate artistic integrity. You know I think I was very passionate about those bands as a kid and still hold the idea of their work as something important to me even now, because of how Formative it had been. It gave me something: To Look Up To. When you're a kid that doesn't believe in God, or anything "Bigger"; you see something that looks Larger Than Life, like a dude with a guitar and cool spikey hair and so much confidence (Ryan), an introduction to the concept of androgyny before being introduced to it later in the form of Bowie (Jay G.), or a dude with a stellar but still very ancient ethos clouded in mystery like an eternal puzzle that must be solved (Blue), and these are just the folks "in our neighborhood". These were My Gods, you know? literal geniuses like Reznor, you know? Something I could really look up to.
Honestly, recent thoughts had me thinking: I should probably try to get some of my ambient work placed in films (i.e.- "placements") because while I'm making these pieces, I can really SEE these sounds, as if they're playing in movies.
Puro appears to be going the Hans Zimmer route with his company, thought about reaching out to him seeing if I could help out somehow, but I'm not sure I'm good enough yet and I heard quite a few things that his company has released, I'm hearing what appears to be a lot of Orchestral Hits from digital-sounding Kontakt-esque libraries. Which I'm not opposed to, I just really like working with analog synths because if you hear some of these samples, and on GOOD speakers (e.g.- not your phone) they could really shake the fuck out of an entire movie theater. Shake souls out of bodies, that type of thing, you know lol?
Before the analog synths came into my life, I would just play the guitar all the time.
As you can see, this is the result of not having a lot of friends lol I remember being 13-14 years old, on the Deadsy message board, playing scales on the acoustic guitar learning chords from Beatles songs, constantly hitting the refresh button every 5-10 minutes, hoping someone would say something new, so I could say something back LOL ... (That's why I was always constantly posting)
It's really sad, when I think about it, looking back. But now I'm just kind of laughing at myself as I'm writing this LOL
Aside from music, yeah, my little kiddo is My Life. Love him So So Much :) Named him Raphael, after the Ninja Turtles lol :)
I think about Miguel/Ruiner every now and then, too. It might sound funny, but him and Claudia had An Impact on me, weird as it might sound, over a computer nonetheless. Learnt one of the most important lessons of my life, from two people at the same time, on accident. Basically snapped me out of "troll mode" for a second there and taught me what it meant to be A Friend. She wasn't like "fuck you, you asshole", instead she was totally like, "he's my friend, don't make fun of him, and of all things... for being gay?" She scolded me like a mother would, I'll never forget it. And then Meegz came out like, "hey, this is what a friend is..." It just blew my little mind, I learnt so much from that... on a computer... Crazy.
Enough about "me, Me, ME, ME, ME!!!" I need to do some catching up here on your blog to learn how you've been. It makes me happy to hear that you got to hold Deadsy Babies in your arms, :) That's so beautiful. It's like how The Lion King comes full-circle :D :)
No more Clear Channel, eh? You know what's so funny about that? Literally Every Single person who has worked for them has not been happy about it. I heard a radio personality a few months ago literally throw shade at Clear Channel on the air, while working for them, it was subtle, but the fact they did it, told me exactly how much people who worked for them weren't happy about them as a company. That's how you know it's real, when people get to that point of "Fuck This!" and just start saying it out loud, lol
My days off are weekends, so if you ever wanna' talk, feel free: 503-888-six-0-three-five
I was trying to figure out what station you worked at, so I could request them again lol
You're a fucking legend, basically. And as a kid, I wished so much that I was all you cool, lucky L.A. cats going to all those shows on Sunset BLVD.
I don't know if you've seen this, but it blew my mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbSRRynPMsk
When I was 13 years old Ryan was the reason I'd picked up a guitar, I thought he looked COOL AS FUCK, so I wanted to do it too. This then led to an obsession with Metallica, so I played them exclusively (which is how I actually learnt how to play, because all the tab sites in the year 2000 were completely wrong LOL Unlike Metallica, who actually had correctly annotated tab books). But, like you, I also found out about Deadsy after first listening to ORGY
"Its a like a Deadsy song/pretty but something's always wrong/show me your secret mason sign" This was hard to get when it first came out, but it's all over the internet today. I remember me and a few people were passing it around, we thought we were so cool because we had a rare "The Deleted Version" lol
30STM's first cd was actually pretty good, I think. When they were still part of The "SynthRock" genre. It was after that cd they went full emo on everyone. They sold records. There's that. But goddamn did they sell out. Someone told me before Jared started the band he was asking all the members of Deadsy about the equipment they used, and he bought all the same stuff. (someone described what they did as a "carbon copy" Deadsy) I told myself, if I ever see Jared at a department store I'm going to point to the ceiling, to the music, whatever is on, and sing out loud, "it's like a Deadsy song, pretty but..." and if he acts weird about it, I will scream out loud, "WHY ARE YOU HERE? ARE YOU LISTENING?! CAN YOU HEAR WHAT I AM SAYING?!"
Imitation is flattery, they say. Whatever happened there, I just think the first 30STM album was fine. I was on their message board too before they blew up, and people said this guy "L." was actually Leto, he told me not to join cults because he had looked into a group briefly and they followed him around for a while. Long story short, it was because of Deadsy I developed an obsession with esoteric subject matter, and yes, found some cults out there for sure.
But anyway, Amir has a cool youtube channel. I think he just uses it to sell equipment, but he does some cool audio experiments on there that an appreciator of experimental music can dig.
It wasn't Josh's fault the band didn't blow up. To be quite fair, I think it was the band's fault for not continuing to make music... despite the downturn. You've probably heard of Jinjer, who went super viral and considered one of the greatest acts in metal currently. This is a band that grinded for nearly A DECADE, doing not just a few local shows, or a single national tour, but numerous WORLD TOURS during those ten years. It took them literally TEN YEARS, despite being At The Top Of Their Game and literally World Class before they even got recognition worthy of their talent. Then you got people like Ethel Cain who just fucking blow up, all the sudden, because THAT ONE person finds their shit who happens to be an established artist already, who plugs them into a distributor and pushes them, hooks them up with good management.
The music industry is no doubt, the most difficult business to make it in. I work as a local truck driver, and I make as much money as some world famous musicians who tour the world and aren't home every day. They're somewhere around the world, or in some other city. And that might be a dream come true for some, but for me, I'm a studio musician. So being able to be home is much better for me. But yeah... unless you seriously blow up, there's like no money in this shit, unless you're indie, own your own masters, do a lot of shit yourself, do tours, make money from your own merch, and have a good booking agent who can get you on loudwire, on pitchforktv, get you a VICE interview, etc. etc. every time your new cd is about to drop.
I think DEADSY should've just continued to release albums, true to their sound. (not sell out like 30STM) Just incrementally release something over a period of every 2 to 3 years. That's how they would've not only retained, but CONTINUED TO GROW a fanbase. So that future releases, future shows (should they have toured) would've been increasingly successful.
The saddest thing to me about Deadsy, and hopefully I can say this as confidentially as one could in a public place such as this, is what appears to be the wasted potential. Other folks in the band went off and did other shit, cool. But had they of just continued to release shit... they'd of been doing FINE today. They'd have a booming, beaming fan base.
They can still get it back, but goddamn. Had they of just kept releasing records... just one every two or three years.
You've seen "Celtic Pride"? I thought it'd probably be a good idea to kidnap them and force them to live in a shack and not release them from there until they've released TEN quality albums. I told myself if I ever become dictator of the world... this is what I will do.
But you know what also makes life valuable? Is the idea that it doesn't last forever, either. So the time that we do have, the things that we do have, it's all rare, and precious. It has a real value, and it should be cherished. Because it doesn't last forever, is exactly what makes this all so precious and meaningful.
I think about that a lot, in general, and specifically in relation to the Deadsy and ORGY cds we got that were actually good.
For good or for ill, life moves on. Because all life is, is Constant Change and is thus, Constantly Changing. Because all we are, and all everything is, is atoms moving through space and time. From one side of Infinity to The Other. And if the world seems small at times, despite how large it is, it's because we're all connected, somehow, to IT ALL. And that's beautiful, every form that it takes along the way. Every new discovery, every experience that literally Defines us along The Way.
Be me for a second, Okay? I'm over here listening the fuck out for Xasthur and DARKHER for years. Then I see on the video description for a Darkher video about a Rayshele. I go "no way..." And it is literally Lunarclick* Rayshele who is behind some of my favorite fucking bands, wtf?! lol
the world is seriously super small, and we are all literally the same being breathing the same air throughout the infinite, we all just can't see it because of our egos and the limitations of our physical senses telling us "otherwise", and this is also what freaked Einstein out the most, this idea of "Quantum Entanglement". But once you get used to the idea that we're all the same being, the Swami Vivekenanda shit, and all the Yogi shit in general becomes a lot more palatable; not just from an abstract or philosophical touch, but it becomes a more integrated reality. One's universe becomes a living, breathing situation.
And the more I think about it. To me at least, Deadsy wasn't just about music. They were about ideas that provoked me to learn more about metaphysics, mainly. I have to ask: how much more could I have honestly gotten out of Deadsy?
I couldn't have gotten more if I tried, or even if they'd released 20 cds. So I'm good. Me personally, I'm doing Fine! But I do worry about Elijah Blue. I hope he's happy. I hope he's surrounding himself with people who love him. I hope he's happy and fulfilled in this life and all the next ones. I didn't know that he didn't really have a father and I didn't either, so when I was like 14 he was like 25 and I literally looked up to him. As silly as it might sound, I'm serious. And for just talking online, and not saying nearly anything in person, he was one of the most important people I've ever met in my life due to how present his influence was in tuning me into concepts that'd eventually change and enrich my entire freaking life. So if not another single Deadsy cd ever comes out, I just hope he's happy, that he's okay. That's he lives a long, long time, and that he'll always be okay and do alright.
Okay, that was weird and emotional lol
Sincerely,
Natalie S@xelby
just kidding,
Rossco ;p :) <3
Rossco! What the fuck? where have you been? You cross my mind from time to time. I remember when you called me at work and requested songs. Your enthusiasm for Deadsy and other bands is unmatched and always made you stick in my brain. <3 you dude.
Love is a strong word, but I unreservedly and unhesitatingly have to throw it right back atcha. I feel like I've known you my entire life! lol
I've just been doing the single-father shuffle. I got a trucking job in Portland Oregon that let's me be home every night (no out of town travel whatsoever), so I can pick my 5 year old son up from school and be in his life everyday. (That's very important to me) :)
This is my channel: youtube.com/Lashtal
I just make music for fun, because I'm passionate about it. I don't charge anything for my originals, I just let people download my albums and EP's for free if they want. What's great about separating music from money, I feel, is that I don't ever have to compromise or negate artistic integrity. You know I think I was very passionate about those bands as a kid and still hold the idea of their work as something important to me even now, because of how Formative it had been. It gave me something: To Look Up To. When you're a kid that doesn't believe in God, or anything "Bigger"; you see something that looks Larger Than Life, like a dude with a guitar and cool spikey hair and so much confidence (Ryan), an introduction to the concept of androgyny before being introduced to it later in the form of Bowie (Jay G.), or a dude with a stellar but still very ancient ethos clouded in mystery like an eternal puzzle that must be solved (Blue), and these are just the folks "in our neighborhood". These were My Gods, you know? literal geniuses like Reznor, you know? Something I could really look up to.
Honestly, recent thoughts had me thinking: I should probably try to get some of my ambient work placed in films (i.e.- "placements") because while I'm making these pieces, I can really SEE these sounds, as if they're playing in movies.
just a few examples-
1) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF96Y7bkKGc
2) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4nfkEB9mCQ
3) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CH9AD0xnbs
4) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggn8UNS85qc
5) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBcAZGwOI0s
Puro appears to be going the Hans Zimmer route with his company, thought about reaching out to him seeing if I could help out somehow, but I'm not sure I'm good enough yet and I heard quite a few things that his company has released, I'm hearing what appears to be a lot of Orchestral Hits from digital-sounding Kontakt-esque libraries. Which I'm not opposed to, I just really like working with analog synths because if you hear some of these samples, and on GOOD speakers (e.g.- not your phone) they could really shake the fuck out of an entire movie theater. Shake souls out of bodies, that type of thing, you know lol?
Before the analog synths came into my life, I would just play the guitar all the time.
Exhibit A) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1TVUOv-YSk
Exhibit B) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dENq-Td6Fxw
Exhibit C) https://youtu.be/cf7IoHQF-gs
Exhibit D) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntHXrLHCP5k
As you can see, this is the result of not having a lot of friends lol I remember being 13-14 years old, on the Deadsy message board, playing scales on the acoustic guitar learning chords from Beatles songs, constantly hitting the refresh button every 5-10 minutes, hoping someone would say something new, so I could say something back LOL ... (That's why I was always constantly posting)
It's really sad, when I think about it, looking back. But now I'm just kind of laughing at myself as I'm writing this LOL
Aside from music, yeah, my little kiddo is My Life. Love him So So Much :) Named him Raphael, after the Ninja Turtles lol :)
I think about Miguel/Ruiner every now and then, too. It might sound funny, but him and Claudia had An Impact on me, weird as it might sound, over a computer nonetheless. Learnt one of the most important lessons of my life, from two people at the same time, on accident. Basically snapped me out of "troll mode" for a second there and taught me what it meant to be A Friend. She wasn't like "fuck you, you asshole", instead she was totally like, "he's my friend, don't make fun of him, and of all things... for being gay?" She scolded me like a mother would, I'll never forget it. And then Meegz came out like, "hey, this is what a friend is..." It just blew my little mind, I learnt so much from that... on a computer... Crazy.
Enough about "me, Me, ME, ME, ME!!!" I need to do some catching up here on your blog to learn how you've been. It makes me happy to hear that you got to hold Deadsy Babies in your arms, :) That's so beautiful. It's like how The Lion King comes full-circle :D :)
No more Clear Channel, eh? You know what's so funny about that? Literally Every Single person who has worked for them has not been happy about it. I heard a radio personality a few months ago literally throw shade at Clear Channel on the air, while working for them, it was subtle, but the fact they did it, told me exactly how much people who worked for them weren't happy about them as a company. That's how you know it's real, when people get to that point of "Fuck This!" and just start saying it out loud, lol
My days off are weekends, so if you ever wanna' talk, feel free: 503-888-six-0-three-five
- Rossco :)